5 Ways You’re Sabotaging Healing and How to Stop


sabotaging healing, self-sabotage, how to overcome self-sabotage


We all mean well. We start of our healing journey (or our diet, church membership, book club, relationship) swearing that this time, we will be dedicated. We get all the necessary supplies and set our alarm clock to begin tomorrow ready. This motivation works for a few days and then bad habits set in.

Before we realize it, we are sabotaging our healing. We don’t recognize these 5 signs of sabotage, and then end up off-course, frustrated, and back at square one.

What It Looks Like and What to Choose Instead

Telling your victim story. When you recount how someone treated you poorly or a situation was stacked against you, you dwell in a place of powerlessness. That powerlessness permeates every aspect of your life and constantly remain in a rut.

Instead, tell your victor story, how you overcame adversity and are winning.

Focusing on others’ flaws. As long as you are keeping a receipt of other people’s problems, misdeeds, and poor choices, you are taking away focus on your own work. You are also pouring negativity into your mental and emotional environment, that is impossible to turn into good.

Instead, shift that same energy into pulling up your own weeds up by the root.

Micromanaging the process. Let’s face it. We wish we didn’t have to do this. We wish we could be over our mommy issues and our daddy issues, our heartache and our job woes. But it’s not that simple. We can’t wave a wand and wish it away, nor can we pretend like we are “there” by reciting affirmations and flashing smiles. We have to go through the process to earn healing. We know we don’t learn when we copy someone’s homework, so why do we think we can skip this learning process too?

Instead, remind yourself that you learn by doing. You will heal through this.

Stopping when things get uncomfortable. Many times we sabotage our healing because it feels uncomfortable. Guess what? That’s a good thing! Without discomfort, we wouldn’t know what to shift, change, or move through. We would be stuck in a position that leads to death of the body or the spirit. Today, I remind you that discomfort is not the same as danger. Discomfort will not kill you, but will heal you.

Instead, take a deep breath, close your eyes, count to 3 and keep going!

Forgetting gratitude. It’s easy to think about what and who is wrong in the world. When you focus on lack and negativity not for the sake of dissecting your feelings but instead to keep score, you invite more of the same in your life. Expressing gratitude is the great neutralizer. It keeps life in perspective and the side-effect is more abundance.

Instead, list what you are thankful for, along with what and who brings you joy and purpose. 



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    • I’m so glad you stopped by and you found this helpful! It’s easy for us to slip down a path of sabotage without realizing it. I’m living proof! But I also know we can turn it around if we are diligent and aware.

    • Agreed. I think that positive thoughts inspire action and that’s the game changer. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you subscribe and come back!

    • I welcome you to sign up for that group, especially while it’s $11. So far participants are sharing that it’s been a breakthrough experience for them to name and create actions around what’s been holding them back.

    • I hope you decide to join the group. So far it’s been life changing for the participants and we’re only one week in! I’m getting emails, inboxes and text messages with their “ahas”

  1. WOW. I definitely agree. Especially when it comes to re-telling the story over and over again. I’ve been in this place before and I had to ask myself why I kept telling the story. The reason was, being the victim was easier because people felt sorry for me and gave me their sympathy. It’s easier to be the victim than to put on the big girl panties, deal with it, and move on. Thank you for sharing this!

    • Very true! And use that discomfort as information about what needs to be healed so you can succeed next time.

    • Keep pressing but also look at what information that moment is teaching you. Get to the root of why running is easier and then do something different. You got this!

    • Thank you for stopping by and walking the talk! It’s inspiring to me and so many others. Proof positive that this positivity thing works!

  2. There is light at the end of the tunnel but some of us are afraid to travel through the tunnel because we don’t know what will happen on that journey. The fear of the unknown – it’s a scary thing. Great post!

    • I absolutely agree that we are afraid of the unknown. But the truth is that we have ALWAYS made it through scary situations and often are better for it. So why won’t we trust it this time?

  3. Yesssss! This post is so on point!!!! I try my best to do everything you listed in the “instead” sections. You should consider making the green font 3 times as big because that really is what people need to focus on in order to achieve the greatness they are destined for.

    • Thank you for this feedback! I’m glad you really liked this post and I hope you can subscribe so that you get the Healing Cheat Sheet to accompany this.

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