We all mean well. We start of our healing journey (or our diet, church membership, book club, relationship) swearing that this time, we will be dedicated. We get all the necessary supplies and set our alarm clock to begin tomorrow ready. This motivation works for a few days and then bad habits set in.
Before we realize it, we are sabotaging our healing. We don’t recognize these 5 signs of sabotage, and then end up off-course, frustrated, and back at square one.
What It Looks Like and What to Choose Instead
Telling your victim story. When you recount how someone treated you poorly or a situation was stacked against you, you dwell in a place of powerlessness. That powerlessness permeates every aspect of your life and constantly remain in a rut.
Instead, tell your victor story, how you overcame adversity and are winning.
Focusing on others’ flaws. As long as you are keeping a receipt of other people’s problems, misdeeds, and poor choices, you are taking away focus on your own work. You are also pouring negativity into your mental and emotional environment, that is impossible to turn into good.
Instead, shift that same energy into pulling up your own weeds up by the root.
Micromanaging the process. Let’s face it. We wish we didn’t have to do this. We wish we could be over our mommy issues and our daddy issues, our heartache and our job woes. But it’s not that simple. We can’t wave a wand and wish it away, nor can we pretend like we are “there” by reciting affirmations and flashing smiles. We have to go through the process to earn healing. We know we don’t learn when we copy someone’s homework, so why do we think we can skip this learning process too?
Instead, remind yourself that you learn by doing. You will heal through this.
Stopping when things get uncomfortable. Many times we sabotage our healing because it feels uncomfortable. Guess what? That’s a good thing! Without discomfort, we wouldn’t know what to shift, change, or move through. We would be stuck in a position that leads to death of the body or the spirit. Today, I remind you that discomfort is not the same as danger. Discomfort will not kill you, but will heal you.
Instead, take a deep breath, close your eyes, count to 3 and keep going!
Forgetting gratitude. It’s easy to think about what and who is wrong in the world. When you focus on lack and negativity not for the sake of dissecting your feelings but instead to keep score, you invite more of the same in your life. Expressing gratitude is the great neutralizer. It keeps life in perspective and the side-effect is more abundance.
Instead, list what you are thankful for, along with what and who brings you joy and purpose.