Becoming A Mother

becoming a mother, lgbt families, birth story

Yesterday marked the 6th anniversary of me becoming a mother. My little one turned 6! For those of you that’s been with me since the beginning, you might recall my live-tweeting of the 47.5 hours of labor that began on her due date. If you are new to the blog, you should know that I was not the gestational mother, but needed something to do while I freaked out during labor and my partner didn’t want anyone but our doula to touch her.

I didn’t know that Little A’s entry in this world would be far more impactful than those harrowing first few weeks. I know now that my lessons from motherhood are more than the technicalities of changing cloth diapers and juggling grad school with a full time job and newborn. Becoming a mother has taught me who I am as a woman, and I’m so proud that my daughter has been my greatest lesson.

Lessons from Becoming a Mother

Lesson #1: Expect the unexpected. This birth story rocked the perfect pregnancy that my partner had.

Lesson #2: The ability to conceive doesn’t define me as a woman. Infertility caused me to confront the value I had placed on motherhood. In fact, it has made me grateful.

Lesson #3: Two adults relationship with parenting doesn’t have to be the same as their relationship with each other. The divorce was difficult and nasty in many ways. No matter how much our ego got in the way, we were firmly committed to being the best parents we could. That allowed us to get past the ugliness and turn towards compassion.

Lessons #4: Even though you’re responsible for another human being, you are still required to grow and evolve yourself. I began this work with coming up my own version of The Four Agreements here.

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I’m sure that the next 6 years, 60 years, and 600 years of motherhood will teach me even more. For now, I’m so grateful and I’m looking forward to the ride.

 

 

Comments

  1. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I too am unable to bear children. It took me a while to come to grips with this reality, but I am good now. I know that if its God’s plan for my life, it will happen. If not, I am good with that also.

    • You are welcome. Despite the long pain, I can now recognize the lessons I’ve learned that I wouldn’t have without infertility. We’ll see how the story ends, but I’m already happy.

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