One thing you should know right from the start is that life coaches aren’t perfect. We are human and go through trials and tribulations. What makes us uniquely gifted is how we’re able to turn those experiences into strategies to transform our clients’ lives. Personally, I believe that my transparency is power because you can see up close and personal how these strategies can work.
Get some water and get comfortable because there’s going to be some truth in here about my own goal-setting mistakes! I hope you can recognize yourself in these scenarios and make some changes immediately.
Mistake #1 Who are you not?
The first mistake I made was having limited belief. When I wanted to become a life coach, I thought I wasn’t qualified enough. All I could see was my resume as a teacher and then as a school principal. I was paying attention to the deficit of a title and not paying attention to the sixteen years of skills it represented. I didn’t see how I was already coaching every day! I work with teachers, families, and students to change their mindsets about their current progress and performance. I train them on implementing new skills. I strategize both short-term and long-term goals. I am the cheerleader and the accountability partner. When I took a step back from limiting beliefs, I was able to see what I do bring to the table and use that to clear my path forward.
Consider: What are you telling yourself you can’t do? What do your experiences already aleiamimsnstrate that you are capable of?
Mistake #2 Missing the patterns
My second mistake was not paying attention to the feedback I was receiving. This feedback would be a clear signal of my life purpose, but I was too busy focusing on my life script that I almost missed the truth standing in front of me. Before I became a life coach, I was a lifestyle blogger. Frequently, I would get messages from women asking for advice about trying to conceive, relationship issues, or career advancement. My straight no-chaser advice had them coming back from more as they appreciated me pinpointing exactly where they needed to focus. Had I realized my own talent six years ago, I would have hit many of my financial goals and have impacted hundreds more lives!
Consider: When you don’t pay attention to how people are using you, you miss opportunities for income and impact.
Mistake #3 Jack of all trades; Master of none
The third mistake I made was doing too much. I thought that in order to be an expert life coach, I had to be an excellent author, popular blogger, savvy business strategist, and dynamic coder on top of all that. There have been too many all-nighters learning about widgets and writing CSS. Focusing on all the noise—necessary aspects of business, but noise nonetheless—detracted from me honing my true talents and gifts, and it guaranteed several bouts of burnout. I didn’t know the importance of working smarter and hiring a gifted team. Even Jesus had 12 disciples to ensure His purpose was served!
Consider: When you look at how you spend your time, which activities are the most essential to your purpose? Is the your current work style building you up or burning you out?
Mistake #4 The heart of the matter
The fourth goal-setting mistake I made was focusing on the wrong outcomes. I’m not talking about aiming for that $100,000 income, when I should shoot for $200,000. I don’t mean focusing on getting 20 subscribers when I should aim for 2 million. I mean focusing on the wrong “what,” not the wrong “how much.”
Here’s my truth. When I got married in 2007, I honestly thought it would be the end of my self-esteem issues. I thought my spouse was supposed to help me heal my wounds, control my finances, and be my “better half.” I was focusing on being “saved.” I’m not the only woman who had to learn the fallacy of this thinking the hard way. If you ever ended up not reaching your goals, or not getting satisfaction when you finally attained that job, relationship, or income you were searching for, perhaps you made this mistake too.
Consider: Many times, we don’t want the actual goal. We want what the goal represents for us. Focus on that instead.
Mistake #5 You have to do the work!
Too many of us women, especially professional women, especially moms, especially those of us on everybody’s committee think that as long as we’re moving in hyper-speed and our days with meticulously scheduled calendars, we’re going to see results. I’m here to tell you it’s simply not true. If you don’t excavate the root of your insecurities and dysfunctions, that brokenness will wreak havoc in your life. “What is buried alive won’t stay dead.” Stuffing it away with busyness will leave you frustrated because you will not be putting in maximum effort for little outcome.
Consider: What do you need to confront? What’s that thing you’re avoiding facing right now? What’s going to be your plan to face it once and for all?
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Which of these mistakes is holding you back? What did you realize you need to be focusing on? Tweet me @liber8ntheory or comment below to share your “aha.”