Protect Your Peace

peace, grief, healing, self-love

Protect your peace.

I say these words to my daughter this week as she texts me that she’s having a horrible day. I say it to her as a talisman as she gets on the bus each morning heading to school, surrounded by other people’s energy and other people’s issues. I hold it in my heart as a reminder to not accept other’s monkeys, bullshit, inner child issues. I let the words invade my chakras and wrap around my DNA as a I remember whose I am.

Protect your peace.

Some days it’s not easy, and if truth be told, too many days I absorbed, adopted, and reflected every person’s stuff that came my way. I used to be the consummate caretaker and nurturer. Co-dependent. I moved in hyper speed, triaging and diagnosing what was going on. Offering salve and solutions. Doing it myself because I was faster and better. Fixing it all with my Olivia Pope prowess and wine. Or so I thought.

Protect your peace.

I thought a racing heartbeat was normal. It’s just the caffeine, I told myself. I frequently forgot things. Just too many files in my mental database, I joked. “You should have,” “You always,” “But you didn’t do it that one time,” “You’re just not Type A enough,” she told me more than “I love you.” Chasing and running in my sleep, waking at every sound or hour was the status quo. Fast clicks of my heels, terse emails, clenched jaws, fast speech, interrupting thoughts were my daily practices.

Protect your peace.

The cape and comparison and racing are retired now. I sit this morning after laughing with my fiancé about my frazzled morning. I overslept, the kiddo missed the bus, I took the wrong exit to work, and I was late. Yet, I remained calm. I have tools to use, even if I forgot my crystals at home and slept through my morning ritual. I carry my own purpose and calling and mission. Healing myself and facilitating healing in others is about doing my work and creating space for others to do their own. I offer tools, not my blood. And I laugh when I fall down and nod to Goddess when I know I need to slow down. I turn crazy mornings into opportunities.


Recipe for reversing an off-kilter morning

1 moment to recognize your energy

4 drops of lavender essential oil, one for each wrist and your left and right temple (on your head)

3 deep belly breaths, in through your nose and out of your mouth

8 ounces of water, for drinking

11 minutes of quiet meditation, noticing the energy, naming it, back to the mental rug

5 minutes of soothing music (save the Trap music for afternoons)


Note: This recipe must be used before beginning any work. Can be done in an office, in your car in the parking lot when you finally get to work, in your classroom with your students.


Do you need to protect your peace?



Are you craving a space where you can be the free, unadulterated you, without guilt or shame?

Do you need sisters to hold space for you, laugh with you, learn with you, and heal out loud?

Are you exploring what your soul needs to do to love, heal, expand, restore, turn up, and be?

Do you identify as

  • A Black woman/ melanated woman of the Diaspora or her ally
  • Spiritually expansive
  • Intersectional
  • Life-affirming
  • Queer and/or a queer ally
  • Light bearer
  • Our ancestors’ wildest dream
  • Ancestor-respecting
  • Pantheon following
  • Sexually expressive
  • Beyhiver

Welcome home to the Queen Bee Order, a sanctuary for melenated women to heal, share, grow, learn, love, laugh, fellowship, restore, turn up, and be so that we can light shit up and change the world.

beyhive, black women, black girl magic, support group, intersectional


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