Generational Curses: How to end trauma using practice, work, and ritual
On Aleia's Hot Take, I empower Black women on their journey for self love, healing, wholeness, and liberation in 15 minutes or less. In episode 4, I generational curses-- what they are and how to break them. Read this article in honor of #HoodooHeritageMonth.
If you have grown up in the Black community, you've heard about generational curses. In the traditional Black church, generational curses are seen as something that "the devil" did to your family, and that curse gets passed down from generation to generation.
A more useful way to define "generational curse" is to name it as the trauma that is transmitted from one era to subsequent generations.
It's common knowledge that people's behavior are the result of learned and observed habits. In general, people do what they see. Therefore, trauma leads to specific reactions and behaviors that get taught to future generations. That's one form of a "generational curse." Other scientific study backs this phenomena.
Science also demonstrates that trauma changes how our bodies respond to stimuli, and studies have delved into how trauma can even change a person's DNA.(1) Because each person inherits half their DNA from each of their biological parents, it's probable that trauma is passed down genetically.
The "curse" from prior generations becomes a cruel inheritance that impacts how individuals interact with the world and how the see themselves.
Now, let's be clear. While individual folks don't choose the trauma they inherit, it is possible to break the cycle of maladaptive and painful reactions.
Tip 1- Self love heals the past
When a person practices self love, they have the ability to heal not only themselves but the generations before and after. Self love disrupts encoded trauma and sends a message back to one's traumatized ancestors and inner child that there is respect for the ways they've had to endure, struggle, and strive, but that those maladaptive ways of being are no longer necessary. Self love is both a "thank you" and invitation to finally rest in peace.
Because matter is neither lost or gain, one's ancestors are both within and beyond them. As a person heals, they are quite literally healing previous generations too.
Tip 2- Self love heals your progeny
One's healing journey not only disrupts the path and creates space to define one's personal journey, it creates a new legacy for their offspring. First, let's define healing:
Healing is an on-going process in which a person excavates and examines pain from the past, contextualizes its power, and makes intentional, life-affirming, and healthy choices as a result.
When a person goes through the processes of healing, they no longer repeat the same habits as the past. Then their children grow up witnessing those new mindsets and behaviors, thus interrupting the cycle of trauma.
Tip 3- Healing is not a one time thing
Healing is not a one-time event or even a process with a definitive end. It is a practice. It is a ritual. It is work.
It is work to identify the habits that were born of survival and coping mechanisms. It is work to see how those habits-- both inherited and developed-- no longer serve a healthy future. It is work to recognize one's own inner child, to acknowledge her, to thank her for protection, and to give her permission to rest.
For many people, it is essential that this healing is done under the care of a trained professional because trauma can be complex.(2)
But each person has to decide whether the risk and discomfort of letting go of old habits and mindsets with the hope of a favorable outcome outweighs the familiarity of generational habits.
Tip 4- The role of ritual
Now that you understand the "what" and "why" of healing from generational curses, let's break down the "how."
I like to think about breaking generational curses and embodying self love with three different routes: practice, work, and ritual. Practice is the repeated habits that one engages in to learn a new skill. For example, most people don't come out of the womb knowing how to play basketball like LeBron James. It took him a certain amount of practice over time to master the game.
Self-healing comes from practice-- practicing new habits, practicing new mindsets, practicing new activities, practicing interacting with people, more importantly practicing interacting with one's self in a different way. It takes repetitive effort for new behavior and new thinking to become new habits.
This brings us to work. In Hoodoo and the conjuring traditions, we call many of our spiritual practices "work" because it is quite literally that. A person does not simply click their heels three times and every wish comes true. Bringing about change takes work to investigate both the mundane world as well as the spiritual world to see what materials are needed, what practices should be developed, what healing needs to be engaged, which intentions should be set, and what type of spiritual technologies need to be employed.
Even then, the work is not only in the divination, the prayer, the ancestor veneration, the preparation of tools; it's in the actual self healing and self love practice as well.
Finally, this brings us to ritual, my favorite. Ritual means a sequential pattern and tradition of doing work in a in a specific, intentional way. There are so many ways people engage in ritual, whether it be mundane or sacred. Ritual can be everything from the way a person connects to the spirit world through dance and music to the practices that one uses to cleanse, protect, and reverse. There are rituals to engage luck and abundance. And there are rituals for uncrossing one's self of the sabotage and barriers people have put up in their own paths. Rituals abound for every aspect of one's life, and they all require connecting one's self to the force and spiritual world beyond the individual.
Final Note:
It doesn't matter how rich a person is, how educated they are, or how adept they are at distancing themselves from the past. If generational curses aren't understood, healed, and replaced then avoidance will never allow them to truly disappear. What's buried alive won't stay dead.
The beautiful and hopeful truth through is that generational curses CAN be disrupted and healed, not only for one's self but for their ancestors and for their progeny.
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